“Counselling” – this term is either endeared by people who value the process and have benefited greatly from Counselling support or hated by others who think it’s all analysing and pointing out your faults and who think Counsellors and Therapists are all “know-it-alls”. Personally I would like to find an even softer term for Counselling so that clients and alike are not put off by the idea of trying it. Don’t be put off by what you think or what you’ve been told and even by one or two bad experiences, there is never a one fit for all, like many things in life, you have to find the right fit and every Counsellor is different; they bring different knowledge, therapeutic preferences and approaches, expertise in various areas and their own personality and experiences. An informative and effective Counsellor should be able to adapt to their clients but obviously this has not always felt like the case for some and you always have the right to find a Counsellor that you are comfortable with and I encourage anyone to do so because the therapeutic relationship between client and Counsellor increases the likelihood of a client’s symptoms improving from this one simple element.  Counselling is not scary and neither should it be.  The only scary thing about it is having to face some truths or realities that you have been so desperately trying to hide or ignore that cause you pain when confronted and have tried to in the past but sadly this is the very reason it is still bothersome, because the issues are still unresolved and unresolved issues and feelings tend to fester and cause us a great deal of harm and emotional trauma if ignored. Counsellors are more adept at dealing with issues and listening to problems because of the hours or training and professional  qualifications and development they have undertaken, they’ve heard pretty much everything and rarely get shocked so never fear what you come to discuss, especially with me, and we also have our unique own personal experiences to draw upon which only add to the ability to empathise with our clients on a unique level that can’t always be matched with friends and family who do often dish out the advice based on either their own perceptions, values, morals and standards without being able to hold off on the opinion giving.  Often they only want what’s best for you of course but only you can decide what that is and sometimes that means talking it over many times without all the “noise” until you find some clarity.

In this very confusing and fast-paced world we live in nowadays, there is an increase and variety in the different types of experiences that we all have been through and have to cope with.  A lot of the time, we are able to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and keep going and get on with life.  Other times we can become stuck, like a rabbit in the headlights of a car, and not have the ability to move past and onwards as we might normally have done. Often when faced with a problem, we may reach out and talk to friends or family, work colleagues or neighbours, family doctors or religious leaders but occasionally the concern we have may be actually with them or their advice may be more frustrating for you or is not kept private or we may be too embarrassed or ashamed of the problem that this is one of the times where we do not want to discuss our issues with our closest and dearest.  Counselling can be a very unique and useful option at these impasses and is available to anyone. What is discussed in sessions remains confidential (within its legal and ethical limits). Counselling does not diagnose or label you and the Counsellor works with the client to firstly listen, give you a safe place to express your concerns, issues, fears, worries or whatever label you like to give them, and simply supports you and validates you whilst assisting or highlighting ways that may move you to an understanding of and possible resolution of the problem. The time is all about you and no one else with no one else’s opinions or added interruptions, it’s all about self-care, and just like caring for your body you are caring for your mind. It can become extremely debilitating to hold in emotions and have to confront each day faced with the same unresolved issues and we all want to have relief from things that cause us emotional pain and frustration. Counselling is a guilt free environment – how often have you not wanted to burden others or not wanted to be judged and made to feel guilty about your feelings? Counselling simply requires you to turn up with an open mind and actually put yourself first for once, it gives you the opportunity to be heard like you may not be used to, taken seriously, understood, not judged and simply cared for – where else do you get the chance to be focused on so intently! Life can be difficult, we may put ourselves in those difficult situations or they may have been handed to us by others, either way, sometimes we just need to talk and that’s really what Counselling is, you have the freedom and choice to discuss what you want on your terms.